What's left of the Parish Bans? Tamás Vekerdy answers

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Even if you do not want to, and you regret it afterwards, you sometimes do something (verbally, even physically) to your child that is not right. What trace does this leave in the child?

What's left of the Parish Bans? Tamás Vekerdy answers

"It's not pleasant to remember the time when I went into marriage with a significant lack of confidence and soon became a mother - reads it." She continues: I'm sure I missed out on the big conversations that give me at least some answers to my requests, or we can only talk with a mature mother, dad or even aunt ... But you never get to talk In the same way that many of them did not get it. lonely weekday in) nice collapsed slowly. I turned sometimes to a blast of helpless, helpless anger who couldn't defend themselves against my children! It is also related to the fact that (when I was home with my little kids), I could not stand on my heels and stand up for my borders. (Now I know, thank goodness.) Multiple times I blamed my children, with much and deed, and when I talked honestly with other mothers, it turned out that they, too, did serious things to their children. Well, we love them! But we didn't have a hood, which would have made us feel more secure! Because I think mothers should always be calmed first.What's left of these? Of these punishments, of these griefs, how they will influence do our children come to life? Will we be forgiven? As they get a little bigger, the situation is calmer and I also protect my "interests" more strongly than other members of the family. That's why many people resent me, but I'm calmer. Now, it seems our kids are okay, playing, reading, telling, and learning well enough, even though they have problems in school with the - more rigorous and - injustice (so to speak) women. But sometimes I remember our battles, and in those times the strangulation stifles, and I dare not ask them if they can, can they forgive? "

Vekerdy Tamba's choice

They might not be able to answer your request. Children tend to have the importance of bringing people close to them every day when they are young, especially seeing their "mother" two. One support as a sure support, as a "liberator" as a "good mother"; if this good mom suddenly screams at her or slaps her buttocks - or grabs them and sticks them out of the toys they don't want (they can't) leave, it's time for bed or dinner - like "witchcraft." It may be that the "punishments" may have found a witch at times, but in the next few moments or minutes the picture may turn again; because they have a great need to give them security, to those who love them, to those around them to always provide good solutions for the living, the mother with us. follow. It is common to get into a household, too early, or not well thought out - because this is: escape home. And yet, without marriage, the number of people living together freely, as in early marriages, seems to be increasing. In addition, in these early marriages, which are most often old marriages, women are more mature in social life and in children than men. This is also the source of further conflicts. The mother feels left alone with her child or children, the young boy does not understand why he needs help, because "you are not doing anything but with the child or at home" ... there could be a kid in this "modern" in an isolated position.But what it describes is the recognition, the change you went through, the encouragement, and the good news for the future. Yes, it is necessary for the mother to stand on the heels of her family members of her family and to stand up for her as she wishes. It's right that you protect your interests and you should know - and every other member of your family should know! - to protect his own interests, he also protects the interests of the mother's children because they really need a relaxed and resting motherwho can be freed from time to time to "be" like a lonely, uninitiated, whole person. for children. She felt it in her childhood. And the bigger the kids, the more. On the other hand, I don't think there would be a family where there wouldn't be a loud blow or a blow to the bottom, as we all know it's always the failure of the parent, the parent, and the freak. If the parent thinks what he or she is aiming for, then the kids can get through a lot of things, and at most they will have to fight with themselves if they have a child, though, my mother is with me ". But let's face it, not only is this pattern hard to overcome, but also the need for upbringing, a change for myself, for which I was inspired by myself. (Now, tensions can still arise that fewer diplomats can tolerate tighter or injustice doctrines.) - daily consolation and therapy for such affliction.Related articles in parenting: